July 02, 2009
Circle Casting
Filed under: Oh, Internets!CAST A CIRCLE FOR PROTECTION AND/OR CLEANSING? (What the fuck FOR? I GET DOWN ON MY FUCKING HANDS AND KNEES AND BLEACH EVERY PART OF THE FUCKING TOILET WITHOUT FUCKING LATEX GLOVES. Isn't my house ALREADY CLEAN?) WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE WHO LOVE TO DO MORE WORK THAN NECESSARY? JESUS.
February 20, 2009
Personal Favorite Favorites
Filed under: Oh, Internets!YOU KNOW WHAT'S ONE OF MY PERSONAL FAVORITE FAVORITES? WHEN NEW PEOPLE STUMBLE ACROSS MY CAPS LOCK AND MAKE "OW, MY BRAIN" AND "I FEEL UNINTELLIGENT AFTER READING THAT" AND "THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE" COMMENTS.
WTF, DUDE, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE BROKEN ENGLISH AND FRAGMENTED SENTENCES TO //YOU//? AT WHAT POINT IS YOUR FLUENCY - IN WHAT APPEARS TO BE YOUR NATIVE LANGUAGE - LIMITED BY THE USE OF CAPITAL LETTERS?
SO, YOU'RE TELLING ME, HYPOTHETICAL COMMENTER WHOSE FIRST, PRIMARY AND PROBABLY ONLY LANGUAGE IS ENGLISH, THAT YOU CAN'T READ OR UNDERSTAND THE LANGUAGE YOU WERE BORN AND RAISED SPEAKING IF THE TEXT APPEARS IN ALL UPPERCASE?
AND //I'M// THE ONE WHO'S DUMB?
November 27, 2008
New "Colors"
Filed under: Oh, Internets!The Color Quiz? It's the only FOR REAL ACTUAL internet quiz / divination tool that's ever FOR REAL ACTUAL worked with / for me. (SOMETHING ABOUT BEING RETARDED AND REACTING BETTER TO COLORS THAN WORDS - IT ALL MAKES SENSE, TRUST ME.) I've been using this system for years to "CHECK MYSELF" and it's always been A LITTLE TOO EERILY ACCURATE ALL THE TIME.
Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the rank and file. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.
Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.
Your Desired Objective
Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.
Your Actual Problem
Feels insufficiently valued in her existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which she will have greater opportunity of demonstrating her worth.
Your Actual Problem #2
The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.
Generated on Wed Nov 26 17:29:51 2008
(SO, WAIT, LOL, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL OF YOUR LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN THE SAME BASIC THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND IN THE SPACE OF 6 OR 8 OR 10 MONTHS YOU SUDDENLY GET SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT - NOT JUST SORT'VE DIFFERENT, BUT ENTIRELY COMPLETELY INSANELY DIFFERENT - AS IN, THE ANSWERS THAT NEVER CHANGED HAVE INEXPLICABLY CHANGED AND YOU'RE LEFT IN A SENSE OF STONED INTERNET SHOCK.)
(...I'M GOING TO DIE, AREN'T I?)
(OH, WAIT, WHAT WAS IT THAT CAINER SAID ABOUT THIS WEEK, AGAIN?)
(WELL...OKAY THEN.)
October 06, 2008
"Three Fold Law"
Filed under: Oh, Internets!IF I HAVE TO SEE ONE MORE GODDAMN THING ABOUT THE "THREE FOLD LAW" I'M GOING TO PUKE.
(AND WHEN THAT FINALLY HAPPENS THE POSTER IS GOING TO HAVE TO FUCKING COME TO -MY FUCKING HOME- AND CLEAN VOMIT OFF -MY FUCKING MONITOR- BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT THE "THREE FOLD LAW" STATES.)
(WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE, ANYWAY? I SWEAR TO FUCKING CHRIST IT'S LIKE -ESTABLISHING AND MAKING UP YOUR OWN RULES- HASN'T EVEN BEEN -CONSIDERED-.)
(I MEAN, YOU GUYS KNOW THIS ENTIRE -MAGIC- THING EXISTED BEFORE BOOKS BY NEW AGE PUBLISHERS CAME OUT, RIGHT? YOU KNOW THAT THERE WAS A TIME -PEOPLE HAD TO MAKE UP SHIT FOR THEMSELVES- BECAUSE THEY COULDN'T REFER TO A BOOK OR SITE OR A LJ USER WHO'S ALREADY PRETTY HARD ON THE EYES WITHOUT HER ICON BEING (DELIBERATELY) DEFACED TO LOOK LIKE THE JOKER.)
(THERE WAS A TIME WHEN NONE OF THIS SHIT WAS TALKED ABOUT OR PERSONALLY ENFORCED AND SHIT STILL GOT DONE AND SHIT WAS FINE AND THE WORLD CONTINUED SPINNING ON ITS AXIS AND THERE WERE A HELLUVA LOT LESS "OMG, GUYS, LOVE SPELLS - IMMORAL AND WRONG OR OKAY?" DEBATES GOING ON.)
(GRANTED LIFE WAS TOUGHER, HARDER, AND REQUIRED MORE WORK TO ENDURE THAT SORT OF LIFESTYLE. BUT AT LEAST IN THAT LIFESTYLE PEOPLE WERE FORCED TO TAKE PART IN THE NATURAL CYCLE OF LIFE AND THE SEASONS, GET THEIR HANDS DIRTY, AND SEE THAT LIFE AND ALL OF THE EXPERIENCES THAT COME WITH IT AREN'T BLACK AND FUCKING WHITE, AND CAN'T BE SHOVED AND CONTAINED IN A FUCKING "WICCAN REDE". MODERN (WESTERN) SOCIETY'S SO REMOVED FROM THE HARSH REALITIES OF LIFE AND DEATH AND EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN THAT MAGIC'S BEEN REDUCED TO ARGUING ABOUT WHETHER "LOVE SPELLS" ARE AMORAL, OR NOT, ON-LINE.)
(DO YOU REALLY FUCKING THINK THAT A SCOTTISH WITCH TWO OR THREE HUNDRED YEARS AGO WHO WORKED AS A CROFTER IN THE FUCKING HIGHLANDS AND WHOSE ENTIRE LIFE DEPENDED ON HER SHEEP AND WHAT HER FIELDS COULD PRODUCE IN THE VERY MEAGER GROWING SEASON WE GET IN THIS PART OF THE WORLD FUCKING CARED WHETHER A FUCKING LOVE SPELL WAS AMORAL OR NOT? AND THAT IF SHE DID SOMETHING, IT WOULD COME BACK TO HER -THREE TIMES OVER-? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST - DON'T MAKE THIS TOTALLY HYPOTHETICAL CROFTING SCOTTISH WITCH LOL, OKAY? <- LOLOLOL, BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FOLLOW THE "THREE FOLD LAW", LOL!)
(JESUS, I DON'T KNOW, MAYBE I'M THE ONLY PERSON WHO'S REALLY DECIDED THAT THE ONLY LIMITATIONS SHE HAS ARE THE LIMITATIONS SHE -CREATES-. (WITHIN REASON, OKAY? DON'T GET ALL CHEEKY ASTROPHYSICS WITH ME BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.) "OH, HEY I'M GOING TO PLAY THIS GAME MY ENTIRE LIFE THAT SOMEONE ELSE MADE UP!" FUCK, WOULDN'T YOU RATHER PLAY A GAME WITH RULES THAT YOU CAME UP WITH YOURSELF USING YOUR UNIQUE LIFE EXPERIENCES? DOESN'T THAT FUCKING -RESONATE- WITH ANYONE ANYMORE?)
September 15, 2008
Impressive Hernia
Filed under: Pay Close AttentionSo I said PLEASE, GOD, SHOW ME A SIGN, SHOW ME ANY SORT OF SIGN SO I KNOW THAT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL! (See FINAL ANSWER.) Wait, wait, I can actually copy and paste shit - LOL!- so I believe a direct quote would be:
At 1:12 AM today (the day of the full moon, the day of Harvest Moon) I found this "stat" waiting for me:
Click thumbnail for larger image.
When I traced back the search there were only nine web sites that Google even listed for "impressive hernia"; Graveyard Dirt, out of that nine, was number five. (FIVE IS A MAGIC NUMBER!) Regardless of the numbers (BECAUSE 7+1=8 AND 8 FITS -RIGHT NOW- SO THAT'S ANOTHER NUMERICAL THUMBS UP!), I think I just got my answer.
Hiatal hernia, here we come?
(OH, WAIT THAT'S MISSING SOMETHING! I WONDER WHAT IT COULD BE? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, -IMPRESSIVE-! IMPRESSIVE HIATAL HERNIA, HERE WE COME?)
OH, INTERNET, DON'T LISTEN TO WHAT THE NEO-H8ERS SAY, YOU'RE -TOTALLY- MAGIC!
August 31, 2008
Name Tags
Filed under: LOL!I love to hear "HELP, I FEEL SPIRITUALLY DEAD!" from people who insist on defining their beliefs by using someone's last name.
August 20, 2008
Perception Personality Image Test
Filed under: Oh, Internets!Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...
Nature, Background, Big Picture, and Shape
You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the shapes around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You prefer a structured environment within which to live and you like things to be predictable.
Compared to other takers:
* 89/100 You scored 12 on HumanityToNature, higher than 89% of your peers.
* 14/100 You scored -5 on BackgroundToForeground, higher than 14% of your peers.
* 85/100 You scored 10 on DetailsToBigPicture, higher than 85% of your peers.
* 44/100 You scored 1 on ColorToShape, higher than 44% of your peers.
Take The Perception Personality Image Test
(ITALICS - YES, NO, YES, NO?)
(IDEALIST? OH, WELL...I GUESS.)
(...MAYBE.)
