Graveyard Dirt: Two Worlds and In-between

Good Mail Month (Feb.)

Filed under: Good Mail Week

AWESOME PACKAGING, ISRAEL, AND I'M NOT JUST SAYING THAT TO KISS THE ASS OF THE FUCKING "HOLY LAND". (<- Last year? Last year Italics bought the Holy Land candles - for our annual marriage ceremony/ritual - and they never arrived. This year? This year I bought the Holy Land candles and they JUST BARELY managed to arrive. IT'S LIKE THE CHRISTIAN MAIL KNOWS I'M NOT PURE OF HEART, OR SOMETHING.)

Ancestral (I'm 7/8ths Ukrainian (and 1/8th Lakhota, but I favor my Ukie genes for obvious reasons)) heritage folk art goodness. My mother was an exceptional Ukrainian embroiderer and pysanky maker, but when she found out we had Indian blood she dropped everything remotely Ukrainian and let the Native American thing completely consume her.

I've been cross-stitching since childhood, so creating samplers isn't entirely new (or taxing). What I haven't done before is create pysanky (REAL ones, I mean, not the colored Easter eggs I doodle ancient Ukie symbols on with a black Sharpie marker). I've been desperate to learn the art, but my fear of being just "okay" the first time around has held me back.

(LOOK, IF YOU'RE AN AUTISTIC ARIES YOU'LL TOTALLY UNDERSTAND WHY EVERYTHING YOU DO - EVEN IF IT'S THE FIRST TIME - HAS TO BE ABSOLUTELY MINDBLOWINGLY PERFECT, OKAY? NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT THIS PARTICULAR AUTISTIC ARIES (WHO HAS TO BE AMAZINGLY SPECTACULAR AT EVERYTHING SHE DOES) HAS THE WEIGHT OF HER HERITAGE SITTING ON HER SHOULDERS WATCHING, WITH GREAT INTEREST, HER ATTEMPTS TO LEARN, CREATE AND EXALT A SACRED ART FORM OF HER ANCESTORS.)

I laughed when I found a cross-stitching pattern for a pair of sirins in my Russian Folk Needlepoint Designs book. (Not exactly Birds of Joy and Sorrow, is it?) I'm going to tweak the design to give the girls a pair of gravity defying sirin tits because, Jesus, isn't that what being a harpy is all about? (<- I WOULDN'T KNOW BECAUSE I'VE ONLY EVER VIVIDLY HALLUCINATED THAT I WAS A SPHINX SO THE ONLY ANTHROPOMORPHIC CREATURE I CAN RELATE TO IS A WINGED LION WOMAN WITH A FANTASTIC RACK.)

More patterns from my vintage Russian design book. And, also, my left hand and wedding ring. (One of these days I'll be getting a "purity ring" to wear during Lent. Until I get one, though, I'll continue wearing our matching rings to ensure that everyone - and everyTHING - knows I'm taken.)

More reading material for a witch who doesn't read. (I CAN'T ACTUALLY SAY THAT. THE INTO THE WORLD OF THE DEAD BOOK? I TOTALLY, TOTALLY READ IT IN ONE SITTING A FEW DAYS AGO. THAT DAMN THING, ALL 49 PAGES OF IT, IS THE FIRST FUCKING BOOK I'VE READY IN //YEARS//. HOW DID I CELEBRATE THE MOMENTOUS EVENT? I BOUGHT ANOTHER BOOK (ON MAKING SALVES AND TINCTURES AND LOTIONS).)

The African black soap? My biggest beauty secret. (No, seriously!) I have thin, sensitive, oily and problematic skin (<- an interesting mix of Indian and Ukrainian genes) which really limits my ability to use cleansers, toners, creams, lotions and moisturizers. For whatever reason my seriously fussy skin absolutely fucking LOVES this soap. Blemishes, period pimples, blackheads and dry skin disappear within days of daily use which officially makes the black soap a magic eraser given to us by God. (And now you know the secret, too. <- YOU CAN THANK ME LATER.)

Another recently bought vintage book that I can't wait to sink my teeth into. (The pages? Beautifully aged yellow. The sort've dusty old look that makes you feel you've just acquired a long forgotten magic tome. <- JUST BECAUSE I DON'T READ, DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T APPRECIATE BOOKS.)

I spent a third of last year finally getting acquainted with some of the indigenous plant life and getting an idea of their natural growing environments. (In other words, I scoured the local countryside for edible plants and mentally marked where the best blackberries, brambles, gooseberries, elderberries, rowan trees and hawthorns grew since they were crazy safe to eat and I wouldn't accidentally misidentify them as something else. <- HAVEN'T FOUND SOLES OR CRAB APPLES YET, BUT I'M NOT GIVING UP, DAMMIT.)

This year I want to extend my knowledge, but I want that knowledge to incorporate native (i.e., Scottish) folklore and ancestral (i.e., Ukrainian, Russian, Slavic) folklore. So instead of learning one thing (i.e., Wikipedia stuff) I'm focusing on three (Wikipedia stuff, Scottish stuff and Slavic stuff) thanks to my innate talent for making things more complicated than they need to be.

I don't have the freedom to decorate the house because we cohabit with my in-laws in Italics' childhood home. While our living situation might stop me from hanging shit on walls, it doesn't stop me from buying shit to EVENTUALLY hang on walls.

In this picture's case it was a pair of vintage prints from the same Ebay seller: a non-fairytale Dulac (LARGER, CLEARER IMAGE HERE!) and a mysterious little conjuring number by George Soper (LARGER, CLEARER IMAGE HERE!).

I rediscovered an original watercolor that Italics gave me as a birthday gift last year (or was it the year before last year?) shuffled amongst old letters, postcards and newspaper clippings. I know he bought it off Etsy - after I sent him the link - but for the life of me I can't remember the artist's name (or her Etsy username).

STUFF. Glorious, magic, vintage middle eastern and Slavic themed STUFF. (<- YOU WOULDN'T BELIEVE HOW MUCH I LOVE //STUFF//. GOD DEMANDED THE BEST OF THE HARVEST AND THE BEST OF THE FLOCKS, I DEMAND STUFF (AND CHOCOLATE AND FRANKINCENSE, BUT MOSTLY //STUFF//).

Handmade decorated hair sticks made by a Ukrainian artisan for my Medusa hair. (I struggle fucking DAILY with my hair. While my genes might've favored my Native American bloodline for pubic hair (EVEN MY BIKINI WAXERS HAVE COMMENTED ON MY REMARKABLY ROBUST AND COURSE PUBIC HAIR) they totally favored my Ukrainian bloodline for head hair. I have baby fine waist length hair which looks CRAZY AWESOME AMAZING when made-up (and in photos) but has a wandering life of its own. To keep it in place I normally sweep it up in a bobbing ponytail or bun, which Italics hates (HE PREFERS MY HAIR TO BE FREE-RANGE) but it keeps me sane while doing housework.)

My new hair sticks are resting on one of my new khokholma pieces. I'm trying to incorporate more Ukrainian paraphernalia into my spiritual practices and I figured the beautifully painted folk art of khokholma was a good place to start. I now have four pieces, not including the egg cups I know that Italics got me for my birthday.

I collect a lot of things - antique/vintage table linen, unfinished embroidery, green depression plates, old spoons (to name a few) and pieces of old horse brass. I already use the pieces ritually (as decoration), but I'm planning to get a leather collar made so I can physically wear them - ponygirl-style - as ceremonial jewelry. Once I get my harness made I can then focus on the next important aspect - the tail.

Because I'm all WAR! (AND OTHER STUFF THAT WILL NOT BE SPELLED OUT IN CAPS LOCK, BUT //WILL BE// MYSTERIOUSLY ADDRESSED IN A DISMISSIVE WAY) I identify and have a fondness for the Queen of Spades. But the good Queen is the Queen of Air, and I'm fire which means I'm technically Queen of Clubs. (I'm reluctantly trying to embrace clubs while wistfully glancing at spades; life's tough, I'll get over it...eventually.)

Candles from the Holy Land that just barely managed to arrive. I have a bizarre fondness for old skool Christianity (especially if its Russian Orthodox) and incorporate some of the religion's images, concepts and celebrations into my spiritual life. These candles are typically burned during Easter by devout followers of Christ, I'll be burning them during our wedding ceremony when we celebrate the marriage of the resurrected king to the virginal Spring bride.

They were $3.00 USD! Handmade! From Ukraine! How could I possible say NO to miniature emblems of ancient Ukie life? (OBVIOUSLY I COULD NOT.) The bestest part? The scythe is roughly the same size as all of my hair sticks which means this Ukrainian witch can wear a scythe IN HER FUCKING HAIR. (<- DON'T MESS WITH THIS REAPER.) The axe - which is delightfully sharp despite its small size - has already been claimed by Wadjet, but that's a whole other entry.

To my delight and surprise I found these vintage sterling silver middle eastern earrings in my TO SEND! box. (<- "TO SEND BOX" = GIFTS WAITING IN A LARGE CARDBOARD BOX TO BE PACKAGED UP AND SENT TO FRIENDS.) Somehow Italics accidentally (mis)placed the padded envelope containing the earrings in my outbound mail box around Christmas and I found them last week when clearing it out. They're absolutely gorgeous, but crazy insane HEAVY.

Some Slavic countries observe a strange tradition on Easter Monday - spanking women. It's an old practice - and ancient practice - that bestows good luck, good health and beauty for the following year (and also allows a man to (not so subtly) announce his attraction to a certain lady). Because the play spanking/switching (switches and whips were made from fresh tree branches, decorated with ribbons) is considered a blessing it's customary to give a gift of an egg in return.

Last year was the first year we observed Spanking Day. After getting thoroughly spanked I laid a large golden egg in Italics' hand. (<- LITERALLY. ADMITTEDLY, IT DID POP OUT AND HIT ITALICS ON THE FOREHEAD WHEN I HAD A STONED "OH MY GOD WHAT IF I CAN'T GET THIS THING BACK OUT AGAIN?" MOMENT AND PROMPTLY SHOT THE EGG OUT OF MY VAGINAL CANAL WHEN HE WAS PERFORMING ORAL SEX ON ME. THE EGG WAS MORE CAREFULLY LAID THE SECOND TIME AROUND, JUST AFTER AN ORGASM, STRAIGHT INTO HIS HAND.)

I gave Italics an Easter egg - a real shell hollowed out, painted and then filled with chocolate - as his egg payment last year. This year? This year I got a sterling silver egg charm for him to add to his charm bracelet. (<- I KNOW IT'S TOTALLY NOT MANLY TO HAVE A CHARM BRACELET (OR TO BE GIVEN A CHARM BRACELET), BUT WHEN I GAVE ITALICS THE BLANK ANTIQUE BRACELET IT WAS LIKE GIVING HIM A BLANK DIARY. WHENEVER ANYTHING SIGNIFICANT HAPPENS WE FIND A CHARM THAT COMMEMORATES THE EVENT, AND WE ROUTINELY ADD CHARMS OF ANIMALS OR THINGS THAT ARE SOMEHOW SIGNIFICANT TO US.)

Finally, a pipe to call my own! We have a ritual bong (which sits on my nightstand altar), we have one or two pipes for out of the house smoking (when in the house we congregate at the BONG BUCKET to do rockets together) but until about a week or two ago I didn't have a personal pipe for private use.

My dear friend (and one of my favorite witches), Carolina Gonzalez, sent me a witch-themed package a few months back which included her homemade Lord Krishna Smoking Herbal Blend. I was so fucking excited that the very first thing I did was NOT SMOKE THE HERBAL BLEND OR OPEN ANYTHING UP, AT ALL. (When the mix fell into my little hands I knew I had to make an EXPERIENCE out of using it, which meant finding and buying the right pipe.)

CAROLINA, I FINALLY FOUND THE RIGHT FUCKING PIPE; YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM ME SHORTLY! (AND WHEN I MEAN "SHORTLY" I MEAN MY VERSION WHICH YOU ARE ALL TOO FAMILIAR WITH.)

The second khokholma piece I bought last month. This one's more subtle and faint than the usual in-your-face boldness that I associate with khokholma designs. I only paid £0.54 for the wooden barrel - not too shabby for a glorified stash box, right?

I don't really know what the fuck this is - neither did the seller - but I DO know that I liked it, and after several episodes of bad Ebay luck I was hellbent on winning this particular item. It's the perfect offering stand/mini-altar, you can fit a stick of incense (or a flower stalk) in the "vase" perched on the rim and you can leave little trinkets, tokens or candies within the dish itself.

Because I identify with the concepts of FERTILITY GOAT and SACRIFICIAL LAMB I chase after cloven hoofed ritual items, but lately I've been attempting to widen the net to incorporate animals that are exceptionally significant to me (i.e., rabbits, foxes, crows and large felines). When I saw the roaring/yawning lion dish the Leo in me (I'm Aries with a Leo ascent) said THIS IS A GOOD FUCKING PLACE TO START.

I HAVE AN INEXPLICABLE PASSION FOR NOVELTY SOCKS (PROBABLY BECAUSE I INHERITED BAD UKRAINIAN CIRCULATION; I SLEEP WITH SOCKS ON IN FUCKING //SUMMER//, SERIOUSLY) THAT ITALICS ONLY ENCOURAGES. (THE "NOT LISTENING" AND "I UNDERSTAND, I JUST DON'T CARE" SET ARE TOTALLY HIS DOING. <- YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN US LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY AT THE CASH REGISTER WHEN PURCHASING THEM. <- IT'S THE //LITTLE THINGS// THAT MAKE A RELATIONSHIP, YOU KNOW?)

OH, GOD, THEY WERE REDUCED TO CLEAR AND I JUST COULDN'T RESIST. I mean, at least the Lady's Mantle is good for WOMAN STUFF and the Golden Rod should make the bees happy way into autumn. (That's what I told myself, anyway. In reality I'm a Midwest girl transplanted in Scotland who kind've sort've misses the flora of her childhood. <- I HAVE NOT SEEN MILKWEED IN OVER TEN YEARS. PLEASE SEND HELP. AND WHEN I MEAN "HELP" I MEAN ENVELOPES STUFFED WITH MILKWEED SEEDS.)

Jan 23-30

Filed under: Good Mail Week

When you spend a huge chunk of your year being nocturnal in Scotland you develop a REALLY intimate relationship with on-line shopping. Some people might've noticed I'm forever buying shit - I'm forever buying shit because we almost never leave the house (no, seriously; I've gone for 4-5 months without even crossing the threshold of the door) which means I never get a chance to buy completely trivial things like novelty ankle socks and bottles of glitter nail polish.

Packages arrive on an almost daily basis. Sometimes I get cards, postcards and surprise parcels from friends. Sometimes the small boxes and padded envelopes are items I bought from Ebay or Etsy or Amazon (as either gifts for myself, or gifts for Italics I then hide away for later). I know that in the end everything - no matter how cheap it is/was/is - still adds up. But! But at least my pocket money's going to something solid and long lasting (i.e., the vintage and antique pieces I pick up for ritual or magic work) rather than a plastic bag from Wal-Mart or Target full of diet soda, potato chips and candy.

Metal cookie cutters from Ukraine! There are 10 shapes in all - pine tree, horse, mushroom, hedgehog, fish, heart, butterfly, squirrel, owl and rabbit - but the one that sold the lot to me was the cep (porcini mushroom). (Being from the old country my grandparents continued their mushroom hunting habits in the new country. I spent my autumns with my grandmother hunting down the elusive ceps growing beneath local pines. <- An activity that I can properly initiate Italics into since we now have a car.)

More reading material for a witch who doesn't read! The cooking magazine's a birthday subscription from my friend, F. (I haven't had a chance to even look at the December or February issue, so the first thing I did with the March edition was tear open the plastic covering and flip through the pages. <- I'VE ALREADY MENTALLY CIRCLED SOME OF THE RECIPES!)

The Lent and Easter pamphlet is this year's Aid to the Church in Need catalog. Last year I bought a gorgeous Blessed Mother/Holy Virgin icon candle from them, and two Alpha and Omega Easter vigil candles. (Both eventually made it into 2009's Spring / Hieros Gamos / Easter / Great Rite / Sacred Marriage altar. The icon candle was set on top of our skull mug, and the Alpha and Omega candle decorated one of our Easter babka.)

I'm hella embarrassed to admit that despite all of my magical exploits I don't have any experience or working knowledge in some witchcraft basics, like making your own effing candles. 2010 is the year I officially have to get over my reluctance to start/learn anything new in the off chance that the first item I produce isn't mindblowingly amazing spectacular. (My need for things being perfect outweighs my desire to learn. Seriously.)

The Candlemaker's Companion is the most highly rated/reviewed candle making book on Amazon UK, and when Italics caught me sizing it up and THEN saw the price (I think it was something like £1.47) he encouraged me to nab it. So, candle making book down, now to find a good book on creating lotions, tinctures and salves and get a pysanky (batik-like decorated Ukrainian eggs) kit to begin learning (and practicing) the ancient art of my ancestors.

At the beginning of the mail week Italics handed over a small package from Amazon Germany. "WTF? I SWEAR NEITHER OF THE BOOKS I BOUGHT WERE COMING FROM FUCKING GERMANY!" (<- In addition to the candle making book I also grabbed Into the World of the Dead: Astonishing Adventures in the Underworld - I KNOW, I KNOW, IT LOOKS LIKE CHTHONIC CHEESE, BUT THERE WAS A COPY FOR ONLY //£0.49//!)

It was neither of my books, it was a Winter/Christmas/New Year/Yule present - a sterling silver scent locket (I love the centralized tiny heart in a completely humiliating girlish sort've way) - from my beloved friend, F. (I've already told her that if she can't find a suitable husband I'll get Italics to convert to Islam so she can marry him. <- THE JOKE'S ON //HER//, BECAUSE I'M PLANNING TO BE THE DOMESTICATED HOUSE ONE, WHICH MEANS SHE WOULD HAVE TO CONTINUE HER PROFESSIONAL CAREER TO SUPPORT THE FAMILY. HAH!)

(Thanks to my strict code of collecting I never kept any perfume that I liked but didn't work on me. I might have a few stashed away, somewhere, but it seems like I'm going to have to revisit some old territory in order to refind scents that broke my heart.)

A few years ago I bought Italics a one-legged demon/imp/devil brass toasting fork, and it turned out to be gateway cutlery (of the toasting kind!). We've used it for a few years now as our fire poker during ritualized fires, but it spends most of its time either in my witch's work bucket (a middle eastern cauldron that fits my broom, goat whip/riding crop, and covered machete) in the bedroom, or resting in the clutches of Italics' wooden fire crab (we rest our blessed logs and fire pokers on him).

Last year I presented Italics a St. George slaying the Dragon toasting fork (to us the icon's a visual representation of Italics' constant struggle with with my autism/monster self; I kind've sort've made St. George his patron saint to give him courage, strength and, most importantly, hope) as a gift, and this year we jointly added the Devil's Bridge toasting fork (pictured above) to our collection.

(I was all "OH, HEY, THIS SORT'VE LOOKS LIKE AN OLD TIMEY SOUVENIR WHERE THEY STAMP THE NAME OF THE PLACE ON THE ITEM" on the day it arrived. As it turns out, it's an old timey souvenir from Devil's Bridge, Ceredigion.)

(Why DEVIL'S bridge? Legend says that the bridge was built by the Devil as it was too difficult for mortal people to build. The Devil built the bridge in return for the soul of the first life to cross the bridge, but the Devil was tricked by an old woman who threw bread onto the bridge and her dog followed, thus becoming the first life to cross the new bridge. Oh, Wikipedia, <3!)

Even though I should be focused on Bride's Day (Imbolc) and the Spring Equinox, I'm already looking ahead towards our wedding. (Outfit? Decided. Maenad, complete with a (fake) tiger skin pelt, white tunic, greco spirals and a crown made of ivy, cedar and whatever other greenery I can find during the time of year. <- I can't tell if it's a REALLY GOOD idea, or REALLY BAD idea since my proposed wedding dress sets a theme to the year, which we normally don't do.)

I grabbed this Holy Land set from a seller in Israel. It comes with a bundle of 33 candles (wrapped in an image of the Resurrected Christ, which is hella fitting since the divine king is, essentially, resurrected himself for another agricultural year), a handmade olive wood crucifix, an icon (I requested an icon of the Blessed Mother/Virgin Mary but they wrote back saying they didn't have any, although, weirdly enough, when my set arrived She was there; I'm PRETTY sure that this is Annunciation (when an angel informed Her that She was knocked up), and it's STUPIDLY fitting since it came just in time for Imbolc (which I consider the time of mothers, milk and new life).)

There's also vials containing olive oil from Bethlehem (lubricant to be used when we consummate our marriage), holy earth from the hills of Jerusalem (I haven't decided how I'll use this, I might mix it into the soil of my two dragon's blood trees), holy water from the Jordan River (add it to bath water? add it to the intoxicant punch I'll be making? offer it as a gift to the tentacle monster?) and frankincense from Jerusalem (to be burned during the wedding/consummating ceremony).

The candles are laughable smaller than I anticipated (barely double the size of your standard set of single colored birthday candles), but the store sells a bundle of 33 separate, so I'm hoping that these in the set are the scaled down versions. (I really, really wanted to burn the same candles during our wedding ceremony that people would be using in the Holy Land for Easter. Right now, by the looks of it, it seems more likely I'll be lighting my future birthday cake up with the Resurrected Christ candles instead of illuminating the "temple" for our marriage.)