November 27, 2008

New "Colors"

Filed under: Oh, Internets!

The Color Quiz? It's the only FOR REAL ACTUAL internet quiz / divination tool that's ever FOR REAL ACTUAL worked with / for me. (SOMETHING ABOUT BEING RETARDED AND REACTING BETTER TO COLORS THAN WORDS - IT ALL MAKES SENSE, TRUST ME.) I've been using this system for years to "CHECK MYSELF" and it's always been A LITTLE TOO EERILY ACCURATE ALL THE TIME.

Your Existing Situation Needs warm companionship, but is intolerant of anything short of special consideration from those close to her. If this is not forthcoming, is liable to shut herself away from them.

Your Stress Sources
The existing situation is disagreeable. Has an unsatisfied need to ally herself with others whose standards are as high as her own, and to stand out from the rank and file. Her control of her sensual instincts restricts her ability to give herself, but the resulting isolation leads to the urge to surrender and allow herself to merge with another. This disturbs her. as such instincts are regarded as weaknesses to be overcome; she feels that only by continued self-restraint can she hope to maintain her attitude of individual superiority. Wants to be loved or admired for herself alone; needs attention, recognition, and the esteem of others.

Your Restrained Characteristics
Feels that she is receiving less than her share and that there is no one on whom she can rely for sympathy and understanding. Pent-up emotions and a certain egocentricity make her quick to take offense, but she realizes that she has to make the best of things as they are.

Your Desired Objective
Her need to feel more causative and to have a wider sphere of influence makes her restless and she is driven by her desires and hopes. May try to spread her activities over too wide a field.

Your Actual Problem
Feels insufficiently valued in her existing situation, and is seeking different conditions in which she will have greater opportunity of demonstrating her worth.

Your Actual Problem #2
The fear that she may be prevented from achieving the things she wants leads her into a relentless search for satisfaction in the pursuit of illusory or meaningless activities.

Generated on Wed Nov 26 17:29:51 2008

(SO, WAIT, LOL, WHAT HAPPENS WHEN ALL OF YOUR LIFE YOU'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN THE SAME BASIC THING OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND IN THE SPACE OF 6 OR 8 OR 10 MONTHS YOU SUDDENLY GET SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT - NOT JUST SORT'VE DIFFERENT, BUT ENTIRELY COMPLETELY INSANELY DIFFERENT - AS IN, THE ANSWERS THAT NEVER CHANGED HAVE INEXPLICABLY CHANGED AND YOU'RE LEFT IN A SENSE OF STONED INTERNET SHOCK.)

(...I'M GOING TO DIE, AREN'T I?)

(OH, WAIT, WHAT WAS IT THAT CAINER SAID ABOUT THIS WEEK, AGAIN?)

"...most things in life happen for a reason. Few of them, though, happen for exactly the reason that we initially feel inclined to attribute. This may sound like an odd thing for someone like me to say - but we have to be very careful about what we read into omens and portents..."

(WELL...OKAY THEN.)

November 18, 2008

Late Harvest

Filed under: Remember This Date

Ate Chippy's microscopic strawberry, smoked stem.

November 12, 2008

How Many...?

Filed under: Burn the Witch

Q: How many witches wake up at 4:30 in the fucking morning to consecrate a hole that city workers dug up right in front of her house (SYMBOLICALLY IT'S A GRAVE, OKAY?) the day before with blood, urine, magic mushrooms, and antique hair pins?

A: NONE, LOL, THEY HIT THE SNOOZE BUTTON BECAUSE IT'S WAY TOO FUCKING EARLY IN THE MORNING AND IT'S RAINING, ANYWAY, AND SLEEP FOR ANOTHER TWO HOURS AND THEN RUSH TO GET EVERYTHING DONE BEFORE EARLY COMMUTERS CAN CATCH THEM IN ACTION. (BURN THE WITCH!)

November 11, 2008

WTF?!

Filed under: Pay Close Attention

THEY ARE DIGGING A GRAVE IN FRONT OF OUR HOUSE. (OUR HOUSE WHICH IS HUMOROUSLY LOCATED ON ONE OF THE SIDES OF THE CROSSROAD.)

(THE ENTIRE "BURST WATER PIPE" THING WAS FUNNY UNTIL THE TINY HOLE OUTSIDE BECAME THE SIZE OF A FUCKING GRAVE.)

November 09, 2008

Divine Gift from God, or Something

Filed under: Life

Wind descended - almost out of no where - just before sunset as I was taking two more "finished" chili plants outside. (I swear to fucking Christ it feels like I'm euthanizing a pet when I take a house grown vegetable plant outside to die at the end of the season. WHEN THE FUCK DID I BECOME ONE OF THOSE NEW AGE RETARDS WHO TREATS HER PLANTS AS CONSCIOUS, SENTIENT BEINGS? LOL, WAIT, ACTUALLY, THAT GUILT FALLS IN PRETTY WELL WITH MY RECENT REDISCOVERY OF FEARING MY OWN MORTALITY.)

Italics was ill and vomited several times in the orange bucket. (Italics doesn't vomit, period.) He's my comically opposite counterpart - he has a hard time burping and throwing up due to a very narrow esophagus, I have an easy time burping and throwing up (AND, UH, SWALLOWING WIDE OBJECTS) due to a very wide esophagus.

(DON'T TELL MY LOCAL MEDICAL COMMUNITY, BUT...WE THINK I MIGHT'VE GIVEN MYSELF THE (POSSIBLE) HIATAL HERNIA WHEN I -BURPED AS LOUD AND FORCEFULLY AS I COULD- WHILE LEANING OVER. IN THAT AWESOME MOMENT OF UNSOPHISTICATED, UNLADYLIKE AMUSEMENT I THINK I ACCIDENTALLY BURPED A PART OF MY STOMACH OUT INTO MY ESOPHAGUS. BUT IF ANYONE ASKS JUST SAY "I HEARD IT WAS A DIVINE GIFT FROM GOD TO HELP HER BECOME A BETTER PERSON, OR SOMETHING". I THINK THEY SHOULD BELIEVE THAT, OR AT LEAST THINK -YOU'RE- CRAZY.)

November 07, 2008

Völva II

Filed under: Folklore Notes

Some Norse stuff that's actually interesting...

Völva:
"Another notable grave was the Oseberg ship burial in Norway that revealed two women who had received a sumptuous burial. One of the women was most likely a high-ranking lady who knew how to practice the seid, as she had been accompanied with a wand of wood. In the grave, there were also four seeds from the cannabis plant which probably had been in the pillows that supported the corpses. Moreover, additional cannabis seeds were discovered in a small leather pouch. Since the pouch contained too few seeds to have anything to do with the cultivation of cannabis, they were probably used for something else. If the queen who had been buried in Oseberg had smoked these seeds, she would not only have sensed a feeling of weightlessness and happiness, but she would also have had a distorted experience of time and space."

("A DISTORTED EXPERIENCE OF TIME AND SPACE" = FEELING LIKE YOU JUST INGESTED FUCKING RECYCLED MOTOR OIL AND NOW HAVE A SRS CASE OF EMPHYSEMA DUE TO INHALING HARSH FUCKING SMOKE. LOL, I WONDER WHAT THEY DID WITH THE STEMS SINCE SEEDS WERE OBVIOUSLY A DELICACY?)

Völva:
"...and in a pouch she had the seeds of henbane. If such seeds are thrown into a fire, they produce a hallucinogenic smoke which causes a sense of flying."

(OH, RLY?)

Völva:
"As early as 1902, an anonymous German scholar (he did not dare publishing in his own name) wrote on how seid was connected with sex. He argued that the wand was an obvious phallic symbol and why should magic otherwise be considered taboo for men."

(LOL, I CAME TO THAT CONCLUSION JUST BEFORE IMBOLC WHEN I WAS WASTED AS FUCK ON MUSHROOMS WITH ITALIC'S COCK IN MY HAND. (YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE MY IMMENSE SENSE OF RELIEF WHEN REALIZING THAT REALIZATION MORE OR LESS EXCUSED ME FROM THE ENTIRE "MAGIC WAND/STAFF" THING. BROOMS, BTW, DON'T COUNT AND I'M GOING TO HAVE A LEAST ONE BILLION. AT LEAST.) FURTHERMORE, I'M WILLING TO PUT MY -NAME- TO THAT CONCLUSION, MR. GERMAN DARE NOT PUBLISHING UNDER HIS OWN NAME SCHOLAR.)

I Ruin Moments

Filed under: Love Letters

One of these days I'll be able to tell you how much I love you without the safety net of work doing it for me. One of these days I'll be able to tell you that I don't care if you want the Bride or the Whore as long as you'll let me continue loving and worshiping you as the King. One of these days I'll be able to tell you how much I selfishly hope that I'll go first because, like V$, I don't know how I'd survive being without you.

(In the off chance you DO go first, please be sure to leave a list of your preferred 6 or 7 "life force" friends in an easy-to-find place.)

(LOL, I RUIN MOMENTS. <- I NEED TO GET THAT ON A BUMPER STICKER.)

("I'LL DO IT LIVE!")

Last of the Best

Filed under: Remember This Date
"THEY CALL ME DR. JOHN
(KNOWN AS THE NIGHT TRIPPER)
GOT MY SACHET OF GRIS-GRIS IN MY HAND
DAILY TRIPPIN' UP, BACK DOWN THE BAYOU
I'M THE LAST OF THE BEST, THEY CALL ME THE GRIS-GRIS MAN"
- Gris-Gris Gumbo Ya Ya , Dr. John

Not yet, I guess.

(I had an entire entry written here with realizations I came to early this morning while on mushrooms, but I lost it. All of it. In one gut-crushing MySQL error - that's never happened in all of my years of journaling - all of the words were gone.)

(It's okay, though. The error registered as "#2" which is significant enough for me to understand that IT'S JUST NOT TIME YET.)

(There are no flukes in this game; only unrealized opportunities and unseen messages written on the wall. You don't have to be schizophrenic, but obsessively connecting seemingly fictitious dots helps. Especially if you can do it on a daily basis.)

November 06, 2008

Volvas

Filed under: Folklore Notes
"The Völvas were known for their art of seduction, which was one of the reasons why they were considered dangerous. One of the stanzas in Hávamál warns against sexual intercourse with a woman who is skilled in magic, because the one who does so runs the risk of being caught in a magic bond and also risks getting ill."

Oh, we bad. (If we aren't handwashing our father-in-laws' underwear for nefarious reasons we're catching innocent victims in our magic snare of sex.)

November 04, 2008

Eating for 4

Filed under: Life

HOLY FUCK AT THE AMOUNT OF FOOD I CLEARED AWAY TODAY (AND THE DAY ISN'T EVEN OVER).

(I'M EATING FOR TWO. UNLESS, OF COURSE, 1 BLACK MAN GETS COUNTED AS 2. (SORT'VE LIKE MY DAD, WHO ISN'T BLACK BUT HAS A CRAZY METABOLISM AND A BOTTOMLESS PIT OF A STOMACH.) THEN I'M EATING FOR 3, BUT I ALSO EAT FOR TWO, SO, UH...4? (DO I DARE COUNT OTHER FRIENDS, GUEST, ANCESTORS, AND OTHERWORLDLY BEINGS? LOL @ MY STOMACH HEAVING @ THE THOUGHT.))