August 19, 2010
German Baby
Filed under: The Black Arts
Click thumbnail for larger image.
After spending a misty morning in a damp Scottish wheat field symbolically sacrificing a representation of your spiritual better half to signal the beginning of the end (of the agricultural year) you're bound to work up an appetite (and catch an unholy chill if your natural default is "sans clothes").
What do you do after the growing year's spectacular climax of the ceremonial killing and cannibalism of your husband and sacred king? You take your still living husband and sacred king home (who's damp, questionably stained and just a touch fatigued from his recent spiritual death) for a long soak in a hot bath, several rounds of Paperboy (and San Francisco Rush 2049) and a lazy breakfast that extends shamefully past two in the afternoon.
Click thumbnail for larger image.
(The King's dead, the Bride's widowed and you've just spent an hour running around a grain field naked as the day you were fucking born having sex against neolithic standing stones, getting smeared with semen, saliva and red wine and ritualistically slitting your divine consort's throat so your hungry ass is fed by the flesh of your beloved throughout the dark and barren months of Winter - brunch, anyone?)
I'll be honest, I had super huge impressive grandiose plans, but after thirty minutes of knee mingling in the bathtub I so wasn't prepared to spend more than several rounds of Tapper in the kitchen. I went straight for my breakfast recipe folder's jugular; German motherfucking Baby (it needs only four ingredients, bakes in about 25 minutes and takes only 5 minutes to throw together despite looking way more complicated than it actually is).
Click thumbnail for larger image.
Think of it as a breakfast souffle combining crepe (pancake-like goodness) and funnel cake (deep fried cake-like goodness) elements. It takes no time to put together, but once you've sifted over the powdered sugar it LOOKS like you spent all goddamn morning chained to the oven (which, admittedly, is probably a way of life if you're involved in a Gor-themed relationship, and if that's the case you might have a chain link bra that matches your swanky oven shackles).
The pièce de résistance of the recipe isn't the dish itself, it's what you serve WITH the German Baby. Cheap will taste cheap when paired with something this simple, if you're trying to impress - I mean, REALLY trying to fucking impress - I'd serve it with a homemade compote or fruit sauce (canned's fine, one of my best "goes with anything" sauces involves a tin of plums, black pepper and ginger) spiked with a fruit liqueur (Crème de cassis, Cointreau, that sort've thing).
Shirley Smith: "Quick, easy and delicious. Serve with lemon wedges, warm maple syrup and jam. "
INGREDIENTS:
* 3 eggs
* 3/4 cup (180 ml) milk
* 3/4 cup (95 g) all-purpose flour
* 1/4 cup (55 g) butter
* 2 tablespoons (15 g) powdered sugar
METHOD:
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C). Place butter in a 10 inch cast iron skillet and heat the skillet in oven.
Beat eggs at high speed with an electric mixer. Slowly add the milk and flour.
Pour batter into hot skillet. Return skillet to oven and bake for 20 minutes. It will rise like a souffle, then fall when taken out of oven. Lightly dust with powdered sugar and serve.
MS. GD NOTES:
To make this recipe gluten-free use your favorite "plain" g-f flour blend and, if the batter seems too dry, add an extra egg. (<- The g-f blend we use, made by Dove's Farm, soaks up moisture like a motherfucker. Rather than add extra liquid (i.e., water, milk or juice) I've found adding an extra egg does the trick spectacularly.)
One last thing - one of the recipe reviewers mentioned warming the pan/skillet/whatever BEFORE adding the butter (to melt). Do it. Seriously. Take it from someone who's been making this recipe regularly for about two years. Warm your baking dish first and THEN add the fucking butter.
