May 12, 2010
Domestic Witch Blog Award
Filed under: Site Shit
Click thumbnail for larger image.
Right. Okay. So.
So my obnoxious witch ass was presented with a Kreativ Blogger Award a few days ago by the V. generous Sarah from Crooked Ways. "WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, MS. GRAVEYARD DIRT, BUT IT SAYS DOMESTIC WITCH BLOG AWARD ABOVE!" Yeah, I know. That's because Carolina bestowed upon me the Domestic Witch Blog Award LAST FUCKING YEAR and up until this morning I still hadn't cinched that honor.
(See? SEE? Didn't I tell you that I was bad motherfucking news? Didn't I tell you that you'd ultimately be disappointed with me because one thing I fucking excel at is failing to live up to expectations? SERIOUSLY, INTERNET, CHUMMING UP WITH ME IS AN EXERCISE IN THE WORST POSSIBLE JUDGEMENT. I AM A HOT MESS OF FRUSTRATING CRAZY GILDED BY THE (FREQUENT) USE OF "FUCK". YOU'D FOR REAL HAVE A BETTER CHANCE GARNERING A SEMI-PROMPT RESPONSE FROM A BLACK FUCKING HOLE IF YOU EMAILED IT/PRESENTED IT WITH AN AWARD.)
Right. Okay. So.
So before I handle NEW BUSINESS the responsible adult in me (I SWEAR I HAVE A FRACTION OF THAT...SOMEWHERE - MAYBE IT'S HIDDEN BENEATH MY STRETCH MARKS?) feels compelled to handle OLD BUSINESS. First and foremost I have to thank Carolina, for the award (which was a seriously flattering surprise) AND for putting up with my, uh, unique approach at communication/interaction. (<- I KEEP TELLING MYSELF THAT ONCE JULY 21ST COMES AND GOES (when Saturn moves from Virgo to Libra finally ending the Saturn Return Italics and I share) I'LL SUDDENLY BE //TOTALLY// ON TOP OF THINGS AND I'LL BE AN ENTIRELY NEW WOMAN AND IT'LL BE THE DAWN OF A TERRIFIC-AMAZING-GREAT CHAPTER IN MY LIFE AND I'LL SIMPLY ~DAZZLE~ EVERYONE WITH MY AGE OF AQUARIUS 180.)
(Just let me enjoy my fantasy, okay?)
This is meant to be a show of respect and/or appreciation, but it can still be delivered with some affectionate humour and so forth. This award can go to any website, group, blog, individual, podcast, organization, magazine or newsletter, forum, networking site and so forth that you feel has done a good service to the community or added something important, special, unique etc to the Community.
* Post the award on your website, blog, etc in some way. Remember to thank your mom!
* Mention the person who gave you the award.
* Select three new recipients of this award you feel are worthy.
* Send them the award via email, by commenting on their forum, by printing it and handing it to them, etc.
* Announce your choices on your website, in your magazine, on your podcast, etc.
When I was first awarded the honor (ALMOST A MOTHEREFFING YEAR AGO) I spent a week wringing my hands in exquisite internet despair, not knowing how to choose THREE people from the long list of blogs / journals / diaries I follow. I eventually settled on selecting people who have the distinct misfortune of knowing me (I mean, past the occasional page hit from stat tracking) to the point they all shared a common Ms. GD theme - "OH, GOD, I PROMISE I'LL GET BACK TO YOUR EMAIL REALLY, REALLY SOON, OKAY?".
01. I Have a Garden (you'll also find her on Tumblr as Phoebeb & Twenty-One)
02. Crooked Ways (you'll also find her on Tumblr as Crooked Ways)
03. A Mango Lassie (you'll also find her on Tumblr as Ghoul Next Door)
Right. Okay. So.
So one award down, three witches chosen. One award left, seven witches needing to be chosen and seven "interesting facts" about me need to be invented. (HOLY SHIT, WHAT? //7// FUCKING THINGS? EVERYONE ALREADY KNOWS WHAT MY FAT ASS LOOKS LIKE AND THAT I (OCCASIONALLY) SMOKE MEPH DURING FERTILITY RITES, WHAT THE FUCK ELSE IS THERE LEFT? (MY WELL OF MYSTIQUE? DRY AS A MOTHERFUCKING PLAGUE OF EGYPT.))
Sarah, I should be able to come up with something good in a year. (<- I'M JOKING, I'M JOKING. Well, partially joking. I mean, let's be honest, it's not like I have a stellar track record, right?)
PS: Footnote thanks to Domestic Witch for creating the award.
