February 14, 2010
Tiger's Metal Tiger Ribeye
Filed under: Tiger
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After several years filled with empty promises, Tiger finally got his steak. (Ancestors, friends, relatives and Papa get fed at their own place setting, anything remotely animal-like gets fed on the floor.) I coincidentally made the offering on the eve of the Chinese New Year (2010 is the year of metal tiger) which was TOTALLY unplanned or premeditated. (<- My mother-in-law bought a steak she didn't eat, and when it began emanating interesting odors I tactfully intervened for spiritual profit.)
My proper Tiger fetish is in our bedroom - a faux tiger skin throw (with head). When we first got him he adorned the bed while we slept (one of his front paws always managed to migrate to my cunt, covering it protectively (<- I've had "spirit sex" problems so I employ Tiger and Chippy - and even Papa to some extent - to keep unwanted nocturnal visitors at bay)), but straightening out five levels of sheets and coverings (fitted sheet, duvet, loose sheet, coffin cover and tiger) every fucking day got old, quick, and Tiger was moved to the top of our closet altar.
When retiring last night I had to remove the steak from the top of the closet because the scent was absolutely noxious. WOW, HE LOOKS PISSED, I thought as I held the ceramic tray with the rotting ribeye, unsure if I should take it away, but sure that I wouldn't be able to sleep in a room that carried the stench of putrefying meat. Then Italics appeared and suddenly said "WOW, HE LOOKS PISSED THAT YOU TOOK THE STEAK" to me I could only roll my eyes.
To placate my irritated large feline (Tiger's more aggressive and pissy, Shango Man (a jaguar) is more confused and laid back) I unearthed his statue and created a mini-altar on the ground in the backroom, returning the wrapped steak and giving him an offering of fresh whipping cream. After I publish this entry I'm going to bust open his energy drink (appropriately named "Tiger") and add it to his spread to ensure he's sufficiently buzzed for his reigning year.
HAPPY YEAR OF METAL TIGER, TIGER!
