Graveyard Dirt: Two Worlds and In-between

Barrel of Laughs

Waking up in the morning when you know you have a sick and/or dying pet on your hands is an ordeal and a half. Your urge is to rush the room to ensure they're still with you, but you don't want to leave the bed. (Because if something DID happen while you were sleeping you don't want to know about it.) If you're me then every morning is an "OH, GOD, I'M GOING TO THROW UP" morning.

Last night, just before bed, I masturbated for Shakey Bear. Although, it wasn't the USUAL "nightcap" I'm accustomed to just before sleep (directing energy requires a little more effort than the lazy affair I engage in almost nightly). Instead of lying I sit up (practically straight up), keep my eyes open throughout the duration of the "work", chant a simple phrase that sums up my intentions and, most importantly, I don't allow myself to daydream, fantasize or visual anything OTHER than what I'm focused on achieving (in last night's case, healing vibes for our little Rubber Robber (she LOVES chewing on anything remotely rubber-like)).

This morning I didn't go straight through to the computer room/office. Bracing myself for the worst I first went to the bathroom, then turned on the kettle to boil water, then lazily wandered into the backroom to admire the full moon casting light across freshly fallen snow. I then returned to the kitchen to make my first cup of the day (Earl Grey), grabbed several spoons and a jar of baby food (when rats lose control over their hands they have a hard time eating since they can't grip food anymore; that's where baby food steps in) and it was only when I was armed with Shakey's breakfast did I tentatively venture into the room.

That goofy animal had her ass parked in the bottom of the wire cage so she was facing the door when I opened it this morning. Shakey Bear, looking the brightest I've seen her in days, was the only one who bothered to crawl out of bed this morning to greet me when I came through. (I'm not going to celebrate just yet. Hezbollah reacted the same towards my masturbation trick, and rather than going down in flames within a 48 hour period her illness/death was drawn out for weeks with exhausting ups and downs.)

Anyway, on-and-off blizzard conditions be damned, we have a sick rat to haul to the vet today. (A sick and THE MOST ANXIOUS AND NERVOUS RAT WE EVER HAD who's NEVER BEEN SEPARATED FROM HER SISTER OR OTHER RAT ROOMMATE or BEEN INEXPLICABLY FORCED INTO A TINY TRAVELING CAGE FOR AN UNDETERMINED TIME.)

Today's going to be a barrel of laughs.