April 05, 2009
A Lot of Food
Filed under: LOL!If there's no obvious holiday decorations, ornate altar spread in the lounge, or sheepskin rug and rocket bucket in the backroom, how do you know we're on vacation?
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Food. A lot of food.
(A lot of food of the likes you've never seen and probably don't want to see and probably shouldn't see after a day or two of mingling and standing at room temperature. <- LOOK, IF YOU'VE GOT YOUR ENTIRE LIFE TOGETHER WHERE EVERYTHING RUNS FLUIDLY INTO ONE ANOTHER LIKE EFFORTLESS MOVEMENT IN GOLDEN WATERS AS HEAVENLY CHOIRS SING, CONGRATULATIONS. SOME OF US - THE LESSER EVOLVED - ARE STILL TRYING TO IRON A FEW KINKS OUT. <- ONE OF MINE BEING "THE DISPOSAL OF RITUALLY OFFERED FOOD AND BEVERAGES IN A TIMELY MANNER.")
(AND WHEN I MEAN "IN A TIMELY MANNER" I MEAN BEFORE IT BEGINS WITHERING AWAY LIKE MOLD ENCRUSTED ASTRONAUT FOOD AND SMELLING LIKE FERMENTING CAULIFLOWER MINERAL WATER.)
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After a day or two shit begins to pile up, and by day three our speaker/stereo cabinet begins to look like the table of a buffet enthusiast who's prepared to exploit every single word in the promise of "all you can eat." (One of my greatest sexual fantasies? Italics, unlimited pot and a booth at Warsaw Inn. I AM THAT BUFFET ENTHUSIAST, AND I DON'T WEAR UNDERWEAR, REALLY, SO I'LL BE MORE THAN COMFORTABLE WHEN MY WAISTLINE'S EXPANDING.)
Papa (the Baron Samedi altar doll) doesn't usually "head" the table, but, somehow, his ass managed to park itself right next to the food. I love his GENERAL GEORGE WASHINGTON LOOKING RESOLUTE WHILE CROSSING THE DELAWARE expression in the picture below, if you look above (at the first picture) you'll see the target of his grim, fixed gaze - the dessert plate.
(FOOD. IT'S HIS JOB (OR AT LEAST WILL BE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS), AND HE TAKES HIS JOB V. SERIOUSLY, THANK YOU.)
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