Graveyard Dirt: Two Worlds and In-between

When Death Comes Ripping

OH, HEY, MY GRANDFATHER DIED -- THREE FUCKING MONTHS AGO.

MY SIDE OF THE FAMILY? I AM DELIBERATELY ESTRANGED FROM THEM. AND THEY ARE ALL "BUT WHHHHY?" AND "YOU'RE JUST AS CRAZY AS YOUR MOTHER WAS" AND "WE KNOW THAT ITALICS HAS BRAIN WASHED YOU AND TURNED YOU AGAINST US" AND I WILL NOW GIVE AN EXAMPLE TO THE WORLD WHY I HAVE DELIBERATELY ESTRANGED MYSELF FROM THEM:

ON THE 10TH OF THIS MONTH (JANUARY) I GOT A LETTER FROM THE STATES WITH MY GRANDFATHER'S NAME IN THE RETURN ADDRESS, BUT THE ADDRESS LISTED BENEATH WASN'T HIS REAL ADDRESS (<- LIVED WITH MY UNCLE AND HIS WIFE, AND I KNOW THEIR ADDRESS). (I GOOGLED IT AND, AS IT TURNS OUT, IT'S SOME EQUINE LEARNING CENTER, OR SOMETHING.)

APPARENTLY, MY GRANDFATHER DIED IN SEPTEMBER, BUT NO ONE BOTHERED CONTACTING ME. WAIT, NO, I TAKE THAT BACK - APPARENTLY MY UNCLE SENT ME A FUCKING EMAIL...BUT THAT WAS IT. MY UNCLE SENT ME AN EMAIL TO AN ADDRESS HE ADMITTED THAT HE ALREADY KNEW THAT I NO LONGER USED (AND HADN'T USED IN YEARS), AND THOUGHT THAT WAS, YOU KNOW, SUFFICIENT. (I GUESS MY SISTER AND FATHER ALSO THOUGHT IT WAS SUFFICIENT BECAUSE NEITHER OF THEM CONTACTED ME, OR EVEN MENTIONED THE FACT IN THE CHRISTMAS CARD/LETTER THEY SENT ME.)

AND THE ONLY REASON WHY MY UNCLE WAS CONTACTING ME - PRETENDING TO BE MY GRANDFATHER BECAUSE OTHERWISE I GUESS I WOULDN'T HAVE OPENED THE LETTER AND JUST THROWN IT OUT (WTF? I HAVE NO IDEA, SRSLY.) - WAS BECAUSE I HAD SENT A GIFT AND CARD, LIKE I ALWAYS DO, FOR CHRISTMAS. SO, REALLY, HE WAS ONLY TELLING ME -SO I DIDN'T SEND ANY MORE SHIT TO THEIR HOUSE-, NOT BECAUSE HE FELT OBLIGATED TO INFORM HIS NIECE THAT HER GRANDFATHER HAD FUCKING DIED.

AND THE WORST PART? I MEAN, LOL, OTHER THAN THE FACT THAT NO ONE BOTHERED CONTACTING ME THAT MY FUCKING GRANDFATHER - MY ONLY GRANDFATHER THAT I HAVE EVER KNOWN IN MY ENTIRE LIFE - HAD DIED THREE MONTHS AGO, IS THAT IF I CONTACT ANY OF MY IMMEDIATE FAMILY GOING "WTF IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?" I'LL BE TAGGED AS THE CRAZY ONE. (TRUFAX.)

FOR FUCK'S SAKE - YOU SEND AN EMAIL WHEN YOUR FUCKING DOG OR GOLDFISH DIES, NOT WHEN SOMEONE IN YOUR IMMEDIATE FAMILY PASSES AWAY - ESPECIALLY NOT TO AN ADDRESS YOU'VE ALREADY EFFING ADMITTED YOU KNOW -NO LONGER WORKS-. MAYBE I'M JUST OLD-FASHIONED THINKING THAT IT BORDERS ON INAPPROPRIATE TO RELY ON, OSTENSIBLY, ONE FUCKING -TEXT MESSAGE- TO INFORM PEOPLE OF THE DEATH OF AN IMMEDIATE FAMILY MEMBER. (HOW FUCKING LAZY IS THAT? I MEAN, REALLY? THAT SHIT IS FUCKING INEXCUSABLE, AND I CAN'T BELIEVE AN ADULT DOUBLE MY AGE THINKS HE'S ACTED FAULTLESSLY AND FLAWLESSLY.)

AND THAT IS WHY, WORLD, I HAVE CUT THE STRINGS. THAT IS WHY.

(AND -I'M- THE FUCKING CRAZY ONE. JESUS EFFING CHRIST. DO YOU SEE WHAT I HAVE TO WORK WITH? ON BOTH SIDES? FUCK ME.)